Full disclosure: leading up to this release I promised myself I would forgo the usual parody review that has become a Bias List tradition when new music is released via the Universe app. After all, this whole venture has lasted much longer than I expected and my creative well has begun to run dry.

But then… I was inspired! This new Kep1er track is called Sugar Rush? Well, this calls for a song parody! So, here’s my musical review — set to the tune of The Archies’ 1969 classic Sugar, Sugar.

Let’s turn on the oldies and sing along!

Sugar
Oh, Kep1er, Kep1er
You have joined Universe
And released a crappy song

Honey
Oh, Kep1er, Kep1er
You could make something good
But instead, this is kind of wrong

I just can’t believe
The beats are so familiar
(I just can’t believe it’s true)
I just can’t believe
That irritating chorus, too
(I just can’t believe it’s true)

Sugar
Oh, Kep1er, Kep1er
You have joined Universe
And released a crappy song

Honey
Oh, Kep1er, Kep1er
You could make something good
But instead, this is kind of wrong

When I hear a song
I know how sweet a hook can be
(I know how sweet a hook can be)
Spending all my time just
Searching for a melody
(Searching for a melody)

Oh-oh-oh-oh, sugar
Pour a little Sweetune on it, honey
Pour a little e.one on it, baby
Make the song so sweet, yeah, yeah, yeah

Pour a little Brave Sound on it, oh yeah
Pour a little Full8loom on it, honey
Pour a little Hwang Hyun on it, baby
We’re gonna make your song so sweet, yeah, yeah, yeah

But make sure to avoid The Hub, honey

Ah, sugar
Ah-ah-ah, Kep1er, Kep1er
You have joined Universe
And released a crappy song

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Honey (honey, sugar, sugar)
Sugar sugar (honey, honey, sugar, sugar)
You have joined Universe